


Architectural Erotica

by a_slight_sweet_fiction



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Awkward Romance, Carlos is Neurodivergent (Welcome to Night Vale), Carlos is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil Hates Books (or Does He), Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Cecilos Fluff, Comedy, Early Cecilos, Episode: e124 A Door Ajar, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Paraphilias, Romance, Sex Positive, architecture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 16:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20530955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_slight_sweet_fiction/pseuds/a_slight_sweet_fiction
Summary: After an exciting but confusing night spent with his new boyfriend, Cecil has concluded that Carlos has an intense fixation on the concept of architecture. Determined to love and support Carlos fully, he decides to do some research into this obscure interest. But when that research leads him into the depths of an erotic bookstore, will he be able to find the answers he seeks, or to face his own intense and complicated feelings about books?A silly and fluffy Cecilos fic set at the start of Year Two that includes good intentions, miscommunication, and two awkward men who just really love each other a lot.





	1. Form and Function

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone else remember that part in A Door Ajar, Part 2 I think, where Cecil fondly remembers the first compliment Carlos ever gave him, when Carlos complimented the shingles of his apartment? 
> 
> Just me? Okay. Well, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that. Most likely, Carlos just didn't know what else to say, but what if similar situations repeated, and Cecil was left to figure out how to romance a man with an unusual paraphilia he'd never even heard of?
> 
> Anyway, I needed a break from my hurt/comfort very-longfic Every Version Of You, and so 14k later, I have this fic for you. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Prepare yourselves for some strange but sweet flirting, relatively tame discussions of paraphilias, and a multitude of very awkward moments.

It began just several dates into Cecil and Carlos’ relationship, on a pleasant evening. After dinner, they came home to Cecil’s apartment, and Carlos commented on the archway leading into the complex.

“Ooh! I love this archway,” Carlos mused, running one beautiful hand along the carved stone. He looked to the top, and smiled. “The shape and design are both so gorgeous.”

Cecil had not looked at it closely for a long time, but with Carlos standing beneath it, it had no choice but to be gorgeous, and the way Carlos said that word had stolen his breath. It also brought back a memory of the first compliment Carlos had ever given him, months before.

Carlos had asked him if he wanted to see something scientifically interesting. He had accepted, and so they had gone up to the Earth Sciences building roof, and Carlos had pointed out a hazy column of darkness in a field, which was only visible from this particular location and angle. Cecil had agreed that it was scientifically interesting, and pointed out his own apartment building. Carlos had said, “That has a nice roof, good shingles.” He had thought of that moment often.

Maybe  _ that  _ was when it had really begun. Either way, the memory occurred to him, as he watched Carlos stroke the archway.

“Yeah!” he managed.

Carlos turned his smile to him, and then, even more breathlessly, Cecil led him to his apartment.

Once inside, there was a brief spell when Cecil was still making the two of them some tea, and they were getting settled. In the temporary silence, Carlos took to complimenting the apartment, from the layout of the rooms, to the directional placement of the windows, to the quality of his kitchen grout, and more. It started casually, but became just a bit more pointed each time, as if Carlos were specifically focusing on these things with intention, and testing how Cecil might react.

_ Scientifically, _ Cecil thought, and his breath caught in his throat.

Cecil took each consecutive compliment with utter delight, getting increasingly flustered each time. Carlos was saying nice things to him--and in  _ such _ a lovely voice! The content could have been anything, and he would have blushed, but the decor was as good a topic as any. He almost dropped his mug twice, and Carlos seemed to notice, but only smiled, and offered his help.

It was now that Cecil began to suspect that Carlos might have a particular interest in...he wasn’t sure, quite yet. It wasn’t  _ interior _ design, specifically, but maybe buildings? And it sure seemed like Carlos was flirting with him a  _ lot, _ on these grounds. What could this mean?

“Thank you! Hey, these are nine foot ceilings, right?” Carlos asked, as Cecil handed him his hibiscus tea, which slowly steeped scarlet.

“Yes, they are,” Cecil breathed, feeling that his skin must also be turning its own, darker equivalent of scarlet. “How did you know?”

“They always feel better than the eight foot ones,” Carlos replied. “Less claustrophobic. I think it’s a better design.”

Cecil leaned on the doorjamb, flustered. “You know a lot about design,” he said.

“A  _ moderate  _ amount,” Carlos admitted, smiling. Oh, he was smart  _ and _ humble! But he really did focus a lot on the architecture of places...

Cecil got the strangest hunch, but it made just enough sense that he couldn’t ignore it. What if Carlos were...oh, it sounded silly, but what if he was  _ into _ architecture? Like, sexually?

That couldn’t possibly be right. Could it? But Cecil was not strong enough to resist the urge to lean into whatever Carlos might be interested in, no matter how strange. He had to test it. But how? He racked his brain.

“What do you think of this doorway?” Cecil blurted out, gesturing to what he was leaning on.

Carlos blinked. “The doorway?”

“Yeah!”

"Oh, um…" he took a look at it. “It looks solid,” he said thoughtfully. “It’s just a simple rectangle, but simplicity has its own excellence. It’s a common shape because it’s worked millions of times. People usually look to form to see beauty, but function is beautiful, too.” He looked at Cecil with a slightly lowered head, and a flirtatious expression.

This was altogether too much for Cecil. The only thing he could think to say was, “Well, I like  _ your _ form,  _ and  _ your function.”

Carlos looked a bit stunned, and then flustered, as he smiled. “Oh. I could say the same.”

“I think the design of you has perfect mathematics,” Cecil pressed, in a moment of bravery. “What an architect the universe must be, to have designed you.”

_ “Science,” _ Carlos breathed, gazing into his eyes, and then, he gently slid his hand around the back of Cecil’s neck, and partly closed the distance between them, silently asking for a kiss. Cecil obliged him wholeheartedly.

They got rather wrapped up in their kissing, and had to set down their tea. After they both took their first sips, Cecil took both cups and set them on the kitchen counter, and as he returned to Carlos, body alive with sensation, Carlos said, “The universe  _ is _ a great architect. It’s arrived at all its designs through trial and error, and by obeying the physical laws of the universe. So much of it is accidental, but it’s been around for so long that complexity has evolved from simplicity, and now, after billions of years, the two of us are standing here together.”

Cecil nodded, stunned at the beauty of Carlos’ voice as he spoke. How was it fair, that Carlos could be so beautiful,  _ and _ use such excellent words, with such a lovely voice? He determined to try and reciprocate, as best as he could.

“What a stunning accident you are,” Cecil said, tucking a curl behind Carlos’ ear. “To be built without intent, but to have such elegant symmetry anyway.”

Carlos looked like he enjoyed that compliment  _ very  _ much. Then, he replied again.

“And the asymmetric aspects of us are part of that stunning accident, too,” he said. “The asymmetry of you, parting your hair on one side, or tending to stand more on one foot than the other, is just as interesting as the parts of you that reflect each other exactly. It’s mathematically different, but still holds together in a balance.”

“What about the asymmetry of us?” Cecil suggested, when he managed to speak. “We’re different, but we hold together, and I enjoy our balance very much.”

Carlos kissed Cecil again, and then pressed him up against the wall, unbalancing him perfectly.

When they broke apart for air, Cecil faintly said, “I also really enjoy being kissed against walls.”

“Do you?” Carlos murmured, pressing just a little harder. “What is it about them that you like?”

“They’re sturdy,” Cecil whispered, blushing furiously at the tone Carlos had used. “They hold you up.”

“They do. They hold a  _ lot  _ of things up. There are buildings without walls, with just columns, but walls are good for a sense of security,” Carlos said. “And they keep in heat.”

Cecil could only think of Carlos’ heat, but he nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Where would we be, without walls?” Carlos asked.

“Or ceilings, for that matter?” Cecil added.

“Don’t get me started on floors,” Carlos warned, with a mischievous smile. “They’re  _ foundational.” _

It took Cecil a second to register the pun, but when he did, he rolled his eyes in delight as Carlos burst into giggles. “Oh my god, you are  _ so _ cute," he said.

After another moment of kissing, Carlos gazed deep into his eyes for a long moment, stroking Cecil’s cheek.

“This isn’t  _ super  _ related to what we’ve been talking about,” he said, “but in this vein: they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I don’t believe in souls, but that’s not the point. The point is that it’s not always easy for me to make eye contact, but it’s easier with you than with a lot of other people, and I’m glad to have the chance to see within the walls of you, when we’re both comfortable.”

Cecil felt soft affection for him, and stroked his hair. “I’m glad for that, too.”

They kissed again.

When they pulled back, Cecil asked, “If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then where is the door?”

“I have no idea,” Carlos said. “I’m not sure there’s a one-to-one equivalent. The building codes for souls must not be concerned with accessibility.”

“Well, that’s rude,” Cecil huffed.

Carlos laughed. “Yes,” he said, taking on a more sultry tone, and pulling on Cecil’s shirt collar. “But that aside, I kind of think we should have more fun with walls...and floors, if you want. Or maybe beds, if you’d rather look up, and think about ceilings on a soft surface.”

_ “Oh,”  _ Cecil gasped. “I’d be  _ very _ interested in that.”

Carlos leaned in close, and half-whispered into his ear, “You know, there’s much more we could say about the elegant mathematics of building designs. And there is just as much to say about the elegant design of  _ you.” _ His hot breath, and suggestive tenor, sent a shiver down Cecil’s body.

Oh, god, Cecil realized. Carlos really  _ must _ have had some kind of architecture fetish. There was no other explanation that made sense to him.

He had no idea how to respond to this new understanding. He had never even heard of such a thing! How did something like this  _ work? _

Oh, did it matter? If Carlos had an architecture fetish, then Cecil would lean into this fact as deeply as he needed to, in order to bring his new boyfriend pleasure and satisfaction.

“Can my bones be columns?” Cecil murmured back. “Can my neck be a pillar? Can you talk about the arch of my back, like you talked about that archway earlier?”

Carlos looked  _ affected _ by this, and nodded.

“You’re the one with all the beautiful words and metaphors,” he breathed, “but if you help me, I’ll do my very best.”

  
The two of them made their way to Cecil’s bedroom, for the second time ever. Cecil insisted that Carlos was the one with the beautiful words, right now, and Carlos insisted that that was still Cecil, as always. And then, in Cecil’s bed, Carlos described the architecture of Cecil’s body in  _ such  _ scientifically interesting terms, and though Cecil did not fully understand Carlos’ inclinations toward buildings, and shapes, and designs, he was utterly undone by the sweet affection of the man he loved, and especially by the sound of his oaky voice, drawing him closer toward bliss with each syllable.


	2. Bookstore Rec

Cecil may as well have been floating, as he walked into the radio station this afternoon. He was not, because he had never gotten around to earning his levitation permit, and was unsure how all that mumbo jumbo actually worked. 

The classes could get expensive, depending on where you went for them. The ones at City Hall were cost-effective, but they were taught by the City Council, and most people reported that it was difficult to focus on the material, much less the immaterial, while a many-voiced entity shouted at them. It was also necessary to wear a blindfold to approach the City Council, and that made it pretty hard to read the whiteboard.

But as Cecil remembered his exquisite night with Carlos, and the sweet goodbye kiss they had shared before going their separate ways this morning, he was sure he understood what levitation must be like. If it were possible to feel this light and ecstatic, with only the enigma of love as a cause, he wasn’t sure he ever  _ needed  _ to learn.

When he entered the studio, Dana was already there, working on the project he had asked her to complete by the time tonight’s broadcast began.

“Hi, Cecil!” she said, grinning and waving at him from the floor, as she organized a slowly shrinking pile of bloodstones by size into boxes. “I hope you don’t mind, but I got here early to finish up.”   
  


“Oh!” Cecil said, pleasantly surprised. “Thank you, Dana!”

Dana was by far the best intern he’d had, and had not died even slightly so far. He admired her tenacity, and truly appreciated the friendship they had built over the last several months. He sometimes struggled to make friends, but she had made it easy, with her gentle kindness and mutual interest in internet fandom culture. The day she listened to his convoluted Jaws slashfic idea, and offered to beta it if he ever wrote it, he had known she was really a keeper.

He hummed to himself, smiling, and set his bag into his chair. He kept his pitch-black coffee in his hand and plopped himself down on the floor beside her, and began helping her sort.

“You seem happy today,” Dana noted. “I’m guessing the date went well?”

Cecil set down his coffee, and looked at her dreamily. “Oh, my god, did it  _ ever,” _ he sighed, grinning. “He spent the night again.”

“Oh!” Dana’s face brightened. “That’s wonderful!”

Cecil nodded quickly. “And we’re going on another date tomorrow evening.”

“That’s so exciting!”

“Yeah!”

Cecil  _ was  _ excited. However, he could not help biting his lip with a bit of anxiety.

Dana placed a medium-sized bloodstone into its proper box, and tilted her head. “You seem like you’re not saying something,” she said. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh,  _ absolutely,” _ Cecil said, waving his hands defensively. “It’s  _ better  _ than okay. It’s  _ phenomenal. _ But I, um…” he considered how to say this, without revealing too much. “I might be a little out of my depth, in some ways. Good ways! But, we’ve entered some unfamiliar territory, and I’m a little nervous that I might not be able to keep up.”

Dana’s eyes went a bit wider, as she considered this. “Unfamiliar territory?  _ That  _ sounds exciting, too.”

“It  _ is... _ but to be honest, I’m very new to all of this, and I have to admit, next to him, I have  _ no  _ idea what I’m doing.”

“Ooh!” Dana picked up another few rocks, and began to sort again. “You don’t have to go into it, but is it also something  _ you’re  _ into?”

“Um...not specifically, no,” Cecil admitted. “Or at least, I had never really considered it before. But I had so much fun last night that I want to learn more.” He paused. “The only thing that bothers me is that I don’t really get why  _ he  _ likes it, and it’s  _ such  _ a specific thing that I have no idea who I’d ask about it.”

“Hm,” Dana intoned, pouring a handful of small stones into the box just in front of Cecil. “You could ask him, right?”

“Oh, of course,” Cecil asserted. “I definitely will. But I don’t want him to have to completely explain himself, you know? I want to learn what I can before I see him again, and try to understand where he’s coming from, even if right now I’m kind of confused.”

Dana smiled. “That’s considerate of you. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that!”

“I mean, in theory, I’d like to be able to do that. But like I said, I have no idea where to begin learning.” He sighed. “I tried looking it up online, and the search engine didn’t give me anything halfway relevant until like page six. But it didn’t seem like quite the same thing, and the article certainly didn’t teach me anything about how to  _ romance  _ someone with these feelings.”

The article had been about Objectum Sexuality, wherein people feel strong attraction to a specific inanimate object, or with a structure, like a tower or a bridge. It seemed like a useful term to know, but it hadn't seemed like Carlos' thing.

Dana’s smile turned to a thoughtful frown. “Really? That’s unusual.”   
  


Cecil shrugged. “Like I said...it’s super specific. It could also be that I just don’t know the proper name for it.”

“That’s probably it,” Dana mused. “I’m sure someone out there knows something about it. If he’s into something, I’m sure other people have been into that thing before, too.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but like...god, I’m just lost.” Cecil laughed. “Oh well. I’m sure I’ll figure  _ something _ out.”

Dana paused for a moment, turning over a large bloodstone in her hands. “Have you been to the lingerie store down the street from Dark Owl Records?”

Cecil shook his head. “Can’t say I have.” He took a swig of his bitter, bitter coffee.

“It just opened a few months back,” Dana said. “They don’t just have lingerie. They have sections for different types of toys, and sensory things like low-temperature candles and edible lotions, and a side room where they hold classes...and in the very back, there’s a surprisingly big bookstore.”

Cecil did his best not to choke on the coffee.  _ “A bookstore?” _ he managed. “That’s just perverse!”

Dana shrugged. “Hey, I know books are controversial, but the shopkeep really seemed to know her stuff, and based on some of the very specifically-themed books I saw in the back, she might be able to point you in the right direction.”

“I can’t believe  _ you _ went into a bookstore!” Cecil exclaimed, unsure whether he were more impressed or horrified.

“I went into a lingerie store that  _ happens  _ to carry books,” Dana corrected him. “And they’re all legally approved.”

Cecil shook his head, with a deep inhale and exhale to center himself. “Be careful with that,” he warned. “Even legally approved books are a slippery slope into unapproved knowledge, and encounters with librarians.”

Dana laughed. “Your age is showing,” she teased. “You know, the younger generations have grown up without the strict book laws of the past. Outside of libraries, books are way less dangerous. Some people even enjoy them.”

Cecil wished he could not imagine the depravity of enjoying a book...but he did remember reading a few when he was younger and even more foolish, and could confirm that it had been a dangerous kind of fun. He had tried to repress the experiences ever since, but sometimes, his toes still twitched when he saw a book on television, and he sometimes wondered if reading the newspaper, as he was wont to do, was really that much better… 

“I don’t like the sound of that one bit,” Cecil lied, shaking his head again.

“Even if you don’t go into the bookstore, I’m sure the shopkeep would know  _ something,” _ Dana replied. “Like I said, the books were on a lot of unusual subjects. I learned some new things just by reading the titles.”

“That still sounds potentially dangerous...but maybe it could be a last resort,” he admitted. “Still, I’ve been around enough to know some of the more common... _ interests _ people have, and I’ve still never heard of this particular thing. I don’t know if a store like that would even be the right place to go to research it.”

Dana squinted. “I don’t want to pry, but...is it some obscure science thing, or something?”

Cecil pondered this for a long moment. “I’m not sure if it qualifies as that, or not. But there could be some overlap. I think it’s mostly mathematics, if anything, but then again, you could argue that it’s art.”

Dana set down the rocks in her hands, without even sorting them. “Like numbers?”

“...No. He does like numbers, but I don’t think in that way.” He blinked, and muttered, “You never know, though…”

“Music?”

Cecil shook his head. “You’re getting warmer, but somehow colder, too.”

“...I probably shouldn’t try to guess. Sorry.”

“It’s fine! Thanks for trying to help.”

They fell silent, and returned to sorting rocks. Cecil struggled not to say what he was thinking, especially sensing how baffled Dana was. He didn’t want her to think Carlos was into something weirder than the truth was, but he also didn’t want to give her more information than necessary.

Then again, she seemed genuinely curious, and Carlos seemed secure enough about his interests…

“Architecture,” Cecil blurted out.

_ “...Architecture?” _ Dana repeated, after a stunned pause. “As in, building design?”

“Yeah. As in, he somehow used the concept of a simple rectangular door frame to flirt with me, and it  _ worked.” _

Dana just stared at him. “How?”

“He said, ‘it’s just a simple rectangle, but simplicity has its own elegance.’ And shortly after, he said, ‘People look to form to see beauty, but function is beautiful too.’ And then, he gave me this  _ look, _ and even though I didn’t really understand what was going on, I have to admit, I was super into it."

“Whoa.”

“I know, right? And then he kicked things up about twelve notches and started talking about 'the elegant mathematics of building design,' and then, the elegant design of  _ me." _

"Double whoa. That sounds like high romance, if I ever heard it."

"It really was. And he was  _ good _ at it! I’ve never had an experience quite like it. And then later on, we switched off, and  _ I _ tried out some architecture metaphors for a while. At one point, I compared the curls of his hair to the intricate designs on the tops of gothic cathedrals, which he really seemed to like.”

“Aw, that’s beautiful!"

"Thanks! I really,  _ really _ tried, and it seemed to go pretty well. But this is so specific, and I'm afraid I'll run out of things to say. I just don't know enough about architecture, or math, or anything like that. I can talk about aesthetic beauty all day, but as things stand, I don't know enough building jargon to get by for much longer, especially without having some deeper idea of what's behind this."

"Yeah. That makes sense.”

"He complimented my grout, Dana. My  _ grout. _ Do I look like the kind of man who understands how  _ grout _ works?"

Dana laughed. "You do not!" She paused. "I'd still recommend the lingerie store, I think. If nothing else, the shopkeep might be able to direct you on how to understand a partner's unusual interests, or something."

Cecil crossed his arms, a bit uncomfortably. "What's the place called?"

"Blood Moon Tryst," Dana said. "It's right by Dark Owl Records, just a few stores down. It has a logo of two silhouetted hands in front of a red moon. You can't miss it. Just ask for Lillith. She’s great."

Cecil nodded. "Okay. Thanks. I don't know if I'll actually go, but I appreciate the suggestion."

"Yeah! No problem."

Between them, the pile of bloodstones was nearly sorted. Cecil changed the subject, and asked her about her family, and if she'd done anything fun the night previously. She answered him, and then, they prepared for tonight's broadcast.

Finally, before Cecil knew it, the broadcast was done. On the way home that night, he drove a different route past Dark Owl Records, and sure enough, he spotted the sign for Blood Moon Tryst, just nearby. It had already closed, which he regretted.

According to the store hours, it opened tomorrow at 9am. He decided that he would come by shortly after, to leave plenty of time for research before his date that evening, and to avoid the busier times of the day. The way he thought of it, who else would even think to go to a lingerie bookstore, so early in the day?

Or any bookstore, like,  _ ever? _

  
_ ...Him, _ apparently. He realized this with some horror, but also, some excitement. Who could have guessed that his relationship with Carlos would lead him to such unusual places? But, as he drove home, and walked through his apartment complex’s beautiful archway he saw in such new light, and sank beneath his sheets, he realized that he was absolutely thrilled for tomorrow to come.


	3. Blood Moon Tryst

Cecil awoke the next day with a sense of anticipation. He sprung out of bed with surprising ease, considering that he had not had his morning coffee, and hummed to himself as he smashed his coffee beans. He couldn’t even bring himself to curse at them, though the sound of the hammer still made the crows in his yard take off in a confused, flapping flurry.

He swayed back and forth with nervous excitement, from foot to foot, as he poured water into the coffee machine. The clock read 8:17, which really could have meant anything. Typically, though, this clock ran between ten and twenty minutes early in the mornings, and went up to three or four hours off in either direction during the evenings.

Whatever! Time wasn’t real, and as he tossed back two cups of coffee, he was too giddy to care.

He decided to wear something subdued, but flattering. What with all the cameras, bugs, and other surveillance technology in town, everyone’s comings and goings were recorded, but he figured that more people’s eyes would slip past him if he avoided wearing something noisy or bright. He chose to wear a plain black shirt with his newest dark green tea-length skirt, and pinned his hair into a low bun, and before he left, he slipped on a black scarf and a very round pair of sunglasses, so that he could at least pretend to hide behind them.

He pulled up to the store just as the shopkeep, a tall, dark, friendly-looking goth woman with shoulder-length natural hair in locs and earrings the colors of the pansexual flag, turned the “closed” sign around to read “open.” He realized that must be Lillith, and that he vaguely remembered seeing her around town. As he parked and turned his car off, he realized that he was more jittery than usual.

He sat with his sunglasses on, and his scarf pulled up over his nose, and wondered whether he should really go in. He hadn’t been to an erotic store in ages, and had certainly avoided talking to the shop owners, when he’d gone in the past. What if he asked her about this subject, and she knew nothing, and he had gone into a half-bookstore at 9am for no reason? Or, what if she did know something, but recommended him a  _ book _ on the subject? He was unsure which would be more embarrassing...

But ultimately, as he remembered the unexpected bliss he and Carlos had shared two nights ago, he found the courage to get out of his car, even as the blood rushed to his face.

The bell on the shop door jingled as he entered. Inside, the place was lit in soft, warm tones, and had an eclectic, cozy decor with elements of moon iconography, elegant Victorian furniture, and a heaping of lace, velvet and faux leather. It smelled like a faint, pleasant mix of sweet spices and vanilla, and the music spilling from the speakers toed the lines between EDM, classical and experimental.

It was jumbled, but artfully so, and Cecil instantly liked it. He abandoned his mild attempt at a disguise and pushed his sunglasses onto the top of his head, to get a better look.

Lillith, hanging up some balconette bras about ten feet to his right, turned to greet him, as he let his senses adjust. “Good morning!” she said brightly, with a wave. “Welcome!”

“Hi!” he replied, a little nervously. He processed that he was in the lingerie section, and that as of right now, he did not see any books. He relaxed a little.

“My name’s Lillith, she/her/hers,” the shopkeep offered. “I’m the owner. As a quick rundown, as you go toward the back, it’s lingerie, miscellaneous fun things and protection, glass toys, electronics, kink-specific items, then artistic and written erotica.”

_ Books, _ Cecil thought, with an emotionally confused shiver, but he tried to smile.

“If there’s anything specific you’re looking for, I’d love to show you around,” Lillith said. “If not, feel free to wander.”

Cecil clasped his hands together awkwardly, unsure of how to phrase his question. Lillith seemed to notice, and casually listened for his response with raised drawn-on brows, though she turned halfway toward the bra rack, and continued sorting them by size.

“Actually, I  _ am _ looking for something specific,” Cecil managed. “Or, I guess, something with a specific theme, but this is all new to me, and I don’t really know where to begin.”

Lillith’s expression brightened, and as she grinned, her ivory teeth stood out brightly against her ebony lipstick.

“Ooh! Something new?” she exclaimed. “That’s exciting!”

“Yeah!” Cecil said, and he smiled back, despite his nerves. “The only thing is, I’m super lost, and it’s  _ such _ an obscure thing that I’m not sure you’d carry anything related to it. Honestly, I’m not even sure you’d have heard of it...”

Lillith snorted. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh,” she said. “But most people think they’re weirder than they actually are, relative to everyone else. It would take a lot to throw me.”

Cecil shook his head quickly. “No, I can imagine, working in a place like this! But I just... _ I’ve _ never heard of someone being into this thing, and I couldn’t find  _ anything _ about it online. I’m actually here because a friend of mine recommended I ask you.”

“How interesting,” Lillith mused. “I’m flattered that they sent you here.”

“She said you have a lot of obscure knowledge, and oh boy, am I ever looking for something obscure.”

Lillith crossed her arms, and appraised him. “Would it fall under the category of BDSM?”

Cecil started, then shook his head. “I...don’t think so,” he replied. “I think it’s more on the vanilla side.”

He suddenly wondered what Carlos thought of BDSM. He hadn’t considered it in the context of the two of them. He remembered the way Carlos had pressed him against the wall two nights ago, and his face went just warmer.

“Is it an object?” Lillith asked.

“You’re getting closer,” Cecil said. “But it’s not really an object. It’s more of a concept, that has to do with a type of object.”

Lillith squinted at him for a minute, and nodded. “Alright. You’ve officially piqued my interest,” she said. “I’ll make you a deal. Tell me what it is, and if you say something I haven’t heard of, I’ll give you thirty percent off your first purchase. Even if you don’t buy anything today, I can put your name on the record, for later.”

Cecil blinked. “Oh! Thank you! That’s generous.”

“Maybe,” Lillith shrugged. “Like I said, it’s harder than you might think to surprise me. But if you do, I welcome it. Knowledge is valuable, and I like learning about new things. The stranger, the better, frankly. So if you’re comfortable enough, then lay it on me. I promise I won’t judge.”

Cecil’s mouth felt dry, as he prepared to explain this seemingly unexplainable thing.

“Okay. I can only give you a vague idea,” he warned. “I don’t know any of the terminology, or anything.”

“That’s fine!”

Cecil covered his mouth with his hand, and spoke through his fingers. “I really don’t even know how or why it works.”

Lillith smiled gently. “You don’t have to, yet,” she reassured him. “Sexuality is a constant process of experimentation and discovery, and that’s one of the best things about it.”

The word  _ experimentation _ made Cecil think of Carlos again, and he felt himself flush totally.  _ God, _ this was embarrassing, and even more so now that he was blushing, but it was worth it, if it meant he could understand Carlos better.

“Alright,” he managed. “Then I’m just going to put two seemingly disparate words next to each other, and see what happens.” 

Cecil inhaled, and waved his hands in the air. Lillith watched in obvious anticipation.

“Architectural erotica.”

Lillith blinked.

“Does it exist?” Cecil asked. “Is there a word for being sexually attracted to architecture?”

Lillith’s sharp eyes showed sudden recognition. “Objectum sexuality,” she said, with a snap of her fingers. “It’s when you feel strong attraction to a particular object, or to a building, or some other structure.” But then, she frowned thoughtfully. “Then again, you said it’s  _ not _ an object...”

Cecil sighed. “I’ve heard of that too, but it’s  _ not  _ objectum sexuality. That’s the closest term I’ve found, but it’s not quite right, because it’s not about specific objects. I think it’s attraction to the  _ concept  _ of architecture. It’s abstract, and it has to do with shapes and mathematics, and the idea of design, and the elements that make up buildings.” He grimaced awkwardly.

As he spoke, Lillith’s face filled with curious delight. “How interesting. How does that present itself?”

Cecil would have  _ loved _ for his face to stop burning. “Um...well, I guess you just talk about architecture a lot, while flirting, and then things progress, and you just...keep making things about architecture? You talk about the design of the person, and then they talk about the design of you, and you just use a lot of building design metaphors the whole way through…?”

Lillith nodded slowly, and began to grin. “Okay,” she said, voice filling with determination. “Well, you’re getting your discount. This  _ is  _ a new one for me.” She held up a finger.  _ “But,  _ I think I still have some ideas for you, if you’d like them.”

“Oh good,” Cecil breathed. “Yes. Do tell.”

“Come with me,” Lillith said, motioning for him to follow her further into the store. He obliged, and as they passed through each section, he wondered with more and more anticipation when they were going to stop. Until they did, and--

Oh,  _ no. Not this section.  _

“I have some pamphlets on sexual self-discovery, here,” Lillith said, gesturing to a table to their left. “But if you really want to get specific and in-depth knowledge, you might have better luck in the bookstore.”


	4. Architecture 101, For Absolute Fools

The shelves were stocked with a frankly stunning number of books, each one seemingly more blatantly bookish than the last, and Cecil stopped breathing, face growing somehow even hotter than it had been before. He clenched his fists at his sides.

“I don’t think I have anything  _ totally  _ specific to your situation, but I have some books that talk about getting to know yourself. Specifically, there’s this one with stories of people with obscure fetishes, and how each person discovered them, and--”

“I don’t read books,” Cecil burst out, more loudly than he meant to. “I’m not some  _ book-loving pervert!” _

Lillith blinked, a bit shocked, and then, her face registered recognition, and she gasped.

_ “Wait,” _ she said suspiciously. “Is your name  _ Cecil?” _

It was Cecil’s turn to be taken aback.  _ “Who’s asking?!” _ he yelped.

“Oh my god, I love your show!” Lillith said, grinning. “I listen all the time. I  _ knew _ you seemed familiar!”

He had been recognized, standing only  _ feet _ away from this  _ den of sin _ that was the book section. This was the worst possible outcome.

“I do  _ not _ condone the usage of  _ books!” _ he huffed, crossing his arms. “I know you get all types of people coming in here, but some things are just wrong!”

Lillith looked absolutely delighted, and clapped her hands together.

“Oh! I would recognize that judgmental tone anywhere!” she exclaimed. “It is  _ such _ a pleasure to meet you!”

“I’m not _ judgmental!” _ he snapped, scandalized. “I’m just stating the  _ facts!” _

Lillith wiggled her fingers. “I am  _ so _ happy you came in today!”

“You can’t tell anyone I was here!” Cecil demanded, ears burning violently. “If anyone other than the Secret Police heard that I went to a  _ bookstore, _ looking for  _ knowledge--” _

“Your secret is safe with me,” she said, rolling her eyes and waving his concern away. “I never talk about people’s interests without consent.”

“Books are not an  _ interest _ of mine.”

“Whatever you say,” Lillith said, with a shrug. She still looked happy.  _ Too _ happy, if you asked him.

“I mean it!”

“I didn’t say you didn’t.”

“Your face does.”

“Why is it so important what I think?”

He stopped. “What?”

Lillith “Who cares what other people think of you? Even if I assumed you had some kind of book fetish--”

“I do  _ not!!” _

_ “Even if I did, _ that wouldn’t make me think less of you,” she pressed calmly. “You really don’t have to worry about any kind of judgment in here. This is a safe place. I promise.”

Cecil thought about storming out, and never coming back, and never telling anyone of his experience here. But this place felt oddly soothing, even with the rows of books behind Lillith, and the similarly soothing way she said this made him feel that maybe some of his anger was misplaced. 

If nothing else, he didn’t want to be the nightmare customer every retail worker has to deal with, so he took a breath, and tried to unclench his fists.

“Okay,” he managed. “Fine. I’m sorry I yelled. I just really  _ do not _ like books.”

“Eh,” Lillith replied. “It’s no big. People end up with all kinds of emotions in here. Would you like to sit?”

She motioned to a nearby table with three chairs.

“Yes, I think I would,” Cecil said, in a strained tone. “Thanks.”

He sat down, and pressed his fingers into his temples. He could not  _ believe _ this. She had taken him  _ right _ to the books! Was architecture really such a niche interest, that it only lived in the mind of one man he knew, and in the pages of  _ books, _ along with god knows what?! Was this really worth the risk?

Oh, he loved that man so awfully much. Carlos was worth  _ any _ risk. But he still felt overwhelmed.

“You know what, maybe I’ll just go stare at some infrastructure,” he sighed. “City Hall has some nice columns. I could try daydreaming about them, and go from there.”

“If you think it’ll help, then go for it,” Lillith said, sitting on the edge of the table. “You don’t technically  _ need _ books, to examine your feelings. And I know that some people just don’t ever want to read a book, under any circumstances, and I want to be respectful of your boundaries. But, if there’s any way you’d be open to it, some of them might help guide you through that process.”

Cecil began to put his face in his hands, but then sat up a little straighter, frowning thoughtfully.

“I mean,” he said, “I know what  _ my _ feelings are, mostly. What I’m really trying to understand is what  _ drives _ an attraction like that. It  _ can’t _ just be, ‘I think buildings are hot.’ It seems more complex than that, you know? And I really want to dig into the specifics.”

Lillith nodded. “Well, whatever the case may be,” she said, “the goal is to have fun, right?”

“Yeah,” Cecil nodded back. “You’re right...” 

Years of conditioning made it very difficult for him to consider purposely interacting with books, but he thought of Carlos, and Carlos’ beautiful smile, and about having more fun with him in the future. If there was even a chance that Lillith was right, and books really could help him and Carlos have more fun, then…

Well, screw it. Today, he would dabble in literary perversion.

_ For Carlos. _

He winced, and made himself speak.

“Okay. You know what? I don’t say this lightly, but...what kind of books are we talking?”

Lillith’s face brightened, and Cecil held up a hand defensively, shrinking down into his chair.

“I am  _ not _ saying that I will be buying one, or even  _ reading _ one! I just don’t have any other leads, and I’m desperate!!”

“That’s fine!” Lillith said, hopping off the table. “Listen. I’ll just grab you a few to look at, and tell you what I think their merits are, and if you find them too off-putting, then we’ll figure it out from there. No pressure.”

With a smile, she disappeared into the shelves.

Cecil sat back in what should have been a physically relaxed position, but felt tension in every major muscle. He felt like he’d just struck an illicit drug deal. This was definitely going on his record, like everything else he ever did, and sure, it wasn’t illegal, but what would people think, if this got out--?

Lillith returned, and set down four books. Cecil jumped and flinched away, shielding himself with his hands.

“Why are there so many?!” Cecil cried.

“I just want you to have options!” Lillith reassured him.

She lifted the top book, a centimeter thick and just smaller than a dinner placemat. 

“This one is called  _ Oh, God, Why Am I So Into THAT? _ And it’s a collection of essays written by people who have paraphilias they consider unusual, accompanied by art.” She leaned in. “There’s one lady who likes chewing sounds, and another who has to be wielding a sword to get her kicks. That’s not a euphemism, by the way. She just really likes swords.”

“I get the sword thing, but...chewing sounds?” Cecil said, horrified.

“Mm-hmm. And then, my personal favorite story is the nonbinary person who gets inexplicably turned on by math.”

“...That one sounds kind of promising,” he said, thinking of Carlos, and how much Carlos seemed to like math. But then, he looked at the size of the book, and he wilted. He motioned toward the smallest one in the pile, which was half as thick, and would be easily held with one hand. “But, uh, maybe we can start smaller?”

Lillith considered this. “Size matters to you?”

“I mean, yeah! I’m super inexperienced. Heck, I get nervous around thick pamphlets. If you throw the erotica version of  _ Don Quixote _ at me, I’ll probably just die.”

She smirked. “Maybe. Depends on how hard I throw it.”

_ “Don’t joke about that!” _ Cecil hissed nervously. “Books are very dangerous!”

Lillith laughed. “True. But I’m holding four of them,” she countered, lifting them all at once, “and I’m completely unharmed. It’s all about the handling technique.” She winked.

“Okay,  _ Steve Irwin.” _

Lillith bowed, looking pleased, then set down all but the smallest book.

“Okay,” she said, in a slightly hesitant tone. “So, I picked this one up as a sort of last resort. I’d completely forgotten that I had this one, but it caught my eye as I was searching for  _ Exploring Unusual Attractions with Lovingkindness.” _

The title of that one sounded very promising, but as Cecil looked at it, it was an inch thick. He went somehow even more tense than before. He looked back toward the one in Lillith’s hands, as she faced it toward him.

“It’s called  _ Architecture 101,” _ Lillith read. _ “For Absolute Fools, Like You, You Painfully Ignorant Person. I Bet You Couldn’t Even Make A Gingerbread House. Let Me Help You.” _

Cecil blinked. “Wow. You actually have something about architecture?”

“...Sort of. It may have to do with architecture, but...here’s the thing,” Lillith said, leaning in a bit closer. “It’s technically educational. All the books in this series are, and you can totally learn from them.”

_ Educational? _ Oh, skies above!

“But that’s not really...the  _ point _ of the series.”

“Oh?” he pressed.

“Yeah, um...so you know how the title is super mean?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“Well, that’s intentional. This series is less about the content of what you’re reading, and more about how the author is speaking  _ to _ you.” 

She thought for a moment, then looked directly at him. 

“Basically, these books are written for people who like being talked down to. They’re designed to shame the reader, but like...in a sexy, educational way, if that format is your cup of tea. The author definitely makes it clear that this is purely fantasy-based and he recognizes your intelligence, and that shaming people for unintelligence or ignorance outside of a fantasy situation is ableist, but still, it’s a lot.”

Cecil flushed again. A book that shamed people, and in a  _ sexy _ way??  _ And _ that aimed to be  _ educational?! _ The idea was the kind of revolting that just made his toes  _ curl! _

He thought about what it would feel like to turn each page through his fingers, and swallowed, feeling a surge of almost  _ painful _ curiosity. What could this book teach him about architecture, and about sexuality?

Oh, it was so  _ embarrassing _ that he had to resort to a book, but for Carlos, for beautiful  _ Carlos, _ he felt that he could survive being shamed by a  _ thousand _ books!

“It’s small and pretty short, but these particular books get really stimulating, really quickly,” Lillith warned. “If you’re a beginner, and you aren’t used to books, it might not be the best way to get into them. I’d probably recommend a more vanilla experience, to start--”

“I want to try that one,” Cecil blurted out, as if he were confessing to a grisly murder. “It can’t be that bad.”

Lillith looked pleasantly surprised, but a little concerned. “Are you sure? I really think the first one might be easier for someone with a book aversion.”

“I want to try this one,” Cecil repeated. “You said it’s…” he shuddered…  _ “educational. _ And that’s what I need. I  _ need _ to understand more about the intersection of sex and architecture, and I don’t care how mean this book is about it! How much is it?  _ I’ll buy it right now!” _

Lillith evaluated his expression carefully, and nodded. “Okay. Cecil, I’m thrilled that you’re willing to try something new, but I  _ really _ want to caution you. I think  _ before _ you buy it, you should stay here and read a little bit of it, to see if it’s up your alley.”

Cecil’s eyes went wide. “Right here?  _ In the store?” _

“I mean, sure,” she shrugged. “Why do you think I have this table? And there’s another behind that shelf, and a couple of beanbags in the far corners.” She motioned to the depths of the bookstore, and as he peered around the corner, sure enough, he caught a glimpse of another table.

“Is that even allowed?” Cecil asked, borderline scandalized.

“Well, yeah. Just, you know, if you do find yourself enjoying it a lot, and particularly if it has a physical effect on you, please be considerate of other customers, and maybe consider buying the book and finishing it at home.”

Cecil shivered in strangely excited revulsion. “Enjoying it? Doubtful.”

Lillith’s lips twitched into a muted smile, and she held the book out toward him. “Only one way to find out, right?”

Cecil reached out to take it, but his fingers hesitated. “Is it venomous?”

Lillith laughed. “No, you can touch it safely. Like I said, though, the author can be mean.”

“I can handle mean. I’ll do whatever it takes.” He tried to grab it again, but faltered, cringing in trepidation. He took a breath to steady himself.

“It’s okay,” Lillith said softly. “Take your time, and be gentle with yourself. I can leave it here with you, if you’d rather?”

Cecil grimaced, but nodded. “That might be for the best.”

Lillith got up and set the book down. “Alright,” she said. “Well, listen, Cecil. If you need anything, I’ll be up toward the front. Don’t hesitate to ask.”

Cecil did his best to smile at her. “I can’t believe this is happening, but thank you for your help. Really.”

“Anytime,” she replied. “And if this doesn’t work out for you, just holler, and I’ll come help you come up with something else to try. I really want to help you find what you’re looking for.”

He felt how genuinely she meant that, and appreciated her efforts very much. “Thanks,” he said again. “Will do.”

As she walked away, Cecil stared at the book with dread. Its cover was dark blue with white lettering, and included images of blue and white architecture sketches.

It looked  _ nice. _

He could  _ not _ let himself enjoy this book. He had thoroughly enjoyed the books he had read in the past, but he had put such things behind him.

_ Look. _ He had been in college, and he had experimented. That was all it had been! Just a boys-gone-wild moment, when peer pressure and curiosity had overcome him, and he had thrown caution to the wind.

...Okay, so it had been more than one moment, and he had very intentionally sought out more such moments, sometimes finding quiet places where he hoped no one would walk in on him, and getting lost in the pages of a book for hours at a time. He had done this many times, until the day his roommate almost caught him in the act, and the resulting anxiety had broken him of his habit. But it had been a phase. Just a  _ phase. _ Everyone had ill-conceived phases, and he had left this one behind long ago.

His fingers twitched, and his heart skipped with anticipation.

He could do this. For Carlos, he would pick up a book again. 

He would do it  _ carefully. _ He would not  _ enjoy _ this book. He would simply learn what he needed to, then be on his way. And then later, he would come back to the store, and buy some of the gorgeous lingerie from the front section, with the discount he had earned.

Okay. Yes. This was good. This was fine.

He touched the book’s cover, and nothing bad happened to him. In a surge of bravery, he gingerly picked it up, and to his dismay, he felt excited.

Open and shut, clean and simple. He would  _ skim. _

He stroked the book’s spine, and swallowed again. Then, he got up, and made his way to the very back of the book section. He plopped down onto a lush red beanbag, under a lamp with warm yellow light, face flushing hot.

What had society come to? People could really just sit in a perfectly nice store and  _ read books, _ these days?

Oh, he really hoped no one would walk in and find him back here. What would they think? He couldn’t be seen like this…

He put his sunglasses back on, and wrapped his face in his black scarf. It trapped the heat, but he did not care. And then, against all his better judgment…

He opened the book. 

He skimmed past the prologue, which set the scene and established the point of the book, and landed on “Chapter 1: Basics.”

_ Hello, _ the author had written. 

Cecil resisted the urge to chuck the book across the room, as he felt the sensation of someone else’s voice in his mind. But he pressed on. The book continued:

_ You’re here because you don’t know anything about architecture. I’m here because I want to help you, even though you really should know more about this subject already. You use buildings every day, don’t you? Maybe if you’d been a little more observant, a lot of this would already be obvious to you. I can’t believe I’ll have to spell these things out to you, and in a  _ ** _book,_ ** _ no less. _

Cecil physically jolted, and shrunk into the beanbag chair, and deeper beneath his scarf. Oh, depths of the abyss, he  _ really _ hoped the author wouldn’t harp on the fact that he was reading.

_ This will all be simple, _ the book said.  _ Mind-numbingly simple. Oh, but you don’t already understand it. What else don’t you understand, if even this is hard for you? _

“So many things,” Cecil whispered.

_ Your life must be very difficult, for you to be so ignorant of all that is, _ came the next line, in a paragraph break all its own.

Cecil almost felt offended, but the book was right, and it knew it.

_ Don’t you worry, my sweet fool. _

His glasses steamed up a little. Since when was he this author’s sweet  _ anything? _

_ I will break architecture down into simple pieces for you, until even you, who stares into the great happening of all things and sees only a fraction of a fraction, will understand the basic aspects of it. _

He checked the author’s name on the book’s spine.  _ Mandell, _ it read. Just the one name. He wasn’t sure exactly who this  _ Mandell _ thought he was, or even if that was a first or last name, but...he loved the phrasing of that last sentence.

He slammed the book shut with a faint yelp, and almost put it down entirely. He could not  _ enjoy reading--! _ But thinking again of Carlos, he gingerly re-opened it.

_ I will make the complex simple, and the simple even simpler. I will reduce these ideas to their lowest common denominator. I will tell you of science, and mathematics, and shape, and design. But for you to learn what you must, you must heed each and every one of my words. Are you willing to do that? _

For Carlos, he was. And so, blushing furiously, sinking lower and lower into his beanbag chair and jumping at each and every sound, he pressed on.

\--

Lillith returned to the front, and returned to sorting through the new shipment of balconette bras.

She already felt very pleased with how today had gone. It was nice to meet Cecil, and even better, he had given her a new paraphilia to research!

She found it fascinating that Cecil was so open about his attraction to architecture, but so twitchy and anxious about his interest in books. When he talked about books on the radio, it did sometimes seem like his opposition to them was a little  _ too _ strong, so it could be that he was just compensating.

He must really want to learn about himself, if he was willing to resort to picking one up. Lillith admired him for that, and grinned to herself as she realized that she was part of this repressed man’s journey toward self-discovery.

She only hoped that she had done the right thing, leaving him with such a book. Cecil had really seemed dead set on it, though, so who was she to stop him?

...Wow. Architecture and books. Lillith never would have guessed that combination. People were always so full of the oddest surprises, and she loved them for it.

She hummed to herself, occasionally glancing back toward the bookstore, and wondering if she should go check on him. She ultimately decided against it.

Twelve minutes passed, according to the clock behind the register, not that that meant anything in Night Vale. Cecil had not stirred. Lillith was more than content to leave him to it, and had moved on to reorganizing the bathrobe section when the bell on the shop’s door jingled.

Another customer, so early in the day! She turned to face them.

“Hello! Welcome to Blood Moon Trys--”

And then, she realized that she recognized him. Perfect hair, dark and delicate skin, and a white lab coat that fell to his knees--she knew exactly who this was, and he was exactly as beautiful as Cecil always said he was.

She did the only thing she could think to do. She raised her finger and pointed.

_ “Interloper!” _ she exclaimed.

“Um, yeah, hi!” Carlos the Scientist said brightly, smiling awkwardly and waving. “Nice to meet you! I’m Carlos, he/him/his. Are you the owner?”

“Yes I am! I’m Lillith, she/her/hers,” Lillith replied, lowering her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. What brings you into my store today?”

“You too,” Carlos said. “Well, I’m here because for the past two days, whenever I’ve had a free moment, I’ve been  _ frantically _ hunting down a specific book, but I have  _ not _ been able to find it yet. I hesitate to order it online, because I need it as  _ soon _ as possible, and whenever I order packages to Night Vale, they get lost for weeks or even months, and when they finally arrive, they’re always sopping wet with seawater. So, I’m here to see if you might have it.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve had that happen,” Lillith commiserated. “I don’t know how to fix the long delivery times, but the trick for the seawater is to ask them to put everything in waterproof bags before sending it.”

“That’s a good idea!” Carlos exclaimed. “I’ll have to try that next time.”

“So, what book are you looking for?”

Carlos clapped his hands together, looking up intently, and focusing on each word. “It’s called:  _ Architecture 101, For Absolute Fools, Like You, You Painfully Ignorant Person. I Bet You Couldn’t Even Make A Gingerbread House. Let Me Help You.” _

Lillith blinked in surprise.

“It’s by an author named Mandell,” Carlos said.  _ “Not _ to be confused with the scientist Gregor Mendel. From the reviews I’ve read, it’s from a series of erotic textbooks, and I guess it’s supposed to teach you about architecture, but it’s super condescending and slowly turns up the heat, the further you go.” He shrugged. “That’s not what I’m interested in, exactly. I’m just trying to learn more about sexual attraction to architecture, but there’s really not much out there that isn’t specifically about Objectum Sexuality, so this seems like the best option, though I’m open to suggestions.”

Lillith felt almost too stunned to speak. Two men, on the same morning, not half an hour apart, had come into the same shop, talked about the same obscure kink, and requested the same book? And it wasn’t even some kind of time anomaly, where they were the same person?

But, she had to answer him, so she nodded. “You know what, yeah,” she managed. “I have exactly one copy of that in the bookstore.”

Carlos’ entire face lit up. “Thank you  _ so _ much!” he exclaimed. “I’ll go find it!” Before she could reply, he darted away, weaving through the other sections with determination.

And then, several thoughts clicked into place.

Cecil Palmer, and then Carlos the Scientist, had come to her store. 

Cecil  _ and _ Carlos, who had just started dating one another, had both asked to learn about the same highly specific thing, which probably meant that it had come up in the context of their relationship. 

And now, Cecil’s new boyfriend was heading directly toward the bookstore, where he, a fairly loud anti-book advocate with intense internalized shame, sat reading the one copy Lillith had of the exact explicit book that Carlos was looking for.

“Wait--!” She tried to call out, but realized with horror that it was too late, as the tail of Carlos’ lab coat disappeared behind the first shelf.


	5. Good Shingles

Carlos stared at the bookshelves intently. There was a surprisingly large selection, and several caught his eye, but he pressed past them, spotting the sign in the back that indicated the Guided Erotica section.

He  _ needed _ to find this specific book, and it had to be now. His date with Cecil was coming up tonight, and he wanted to be prepared.

Yesterday and early this morning, he had scoured the internet, and every research journal he had access to. He had even considered going to the library and facing off with the librarians, but his team of scientists had collectively stopped him. This one book seemed to be the only reading material in all of Night Vale that came close to addressing this subject, and that he could access safely and quickly.

He didn’t even read books. He listened to audio versions of writing whenever possible. His dyslexia made traditional reading difficult, and while he could do it in spurts when he had to, longform reading was an intensely frustrating experience. But he would try it now, for Cecil.

You see, two nights ago, he had accidentally discovered that Cecil had an intense architecture fetish.

He didn’t understand quite how it worked, but he wanted to learn. He would ask Cecil about it when the opportunity arose, but in the meantime, he was a scientist, and he wanted to at least try to explore this concept before the next time they found themselves wrapped in bedsheets.

Was it weird? Absolutely. Was Carlos into it? Not on its own, but frankly, the subject matter of what they discussed during sex wasn’t nearly as interesting as the fact that they were communicating, and specifically, that Cecil was talking, in his gorgeous, deep, dark voice.

Cecil could read him a grocery list, and it would give Carlos the shivers. In fact, something similar had happened before, when Cecil had read a curry recipe on the air during the traffic section of his show. The experience had made his spine tingle like nothing else, and he had not been able to stop thinking of the way Cecil had said the word “turmeric” for a solid week.

He really liked lists, and voices, and specifically, Cecil’s voice. He also liked numbers, and bees, and space. And science! Oh, how he loved science!

He did not like all of those things in an attraction-based way, nor did he always think of them that way. Bees were a special interest, but he never found them especially erotic...though he liked to think of Cecil’s voice as honeyed, and enjoyed the slow, viscous drip of both very much...

...He would have to explore that thought later.

He rounded the final shelves, fully focused on finding this architecture book, and his heart just about stopped at the sight he encountered. He staggered backward, hiding behind the shelves.

He peeked around, and sure enough, in the corner, in a beanbag chair beneath a warm-toned lamp, scarf pulled up over his nose, sunglasses on indoors, curled up with a book, was  _ Cecil. _

His boyfriend looked positively enraptured, and he was wiggling his feet in the cutest way.

“Oh, that is just  _ rude!” _ Cecil said under his breath, just loud enough for Carlos to hear. And then, he giggled softly.

He was absolutely adorable, and Carlos was delighted. But Carlos had not planned to see him until later, and looked more disheveled than he would have preferred to, and wondered what Cecil would think of him coming to a lingerie shop/bookstore, so early in the day.

Then again, Cecil was in the exact same place, and enjoying a book, no less--an activity Carlos had heard Cecil condemn publicly, many times. There was obviously more to him than met the eye, or the ear. Maybe he wouldn’t be particularly judgmental.

He had really hoped to read up on architecture in secret, and then surprise Cecil with his knowledge. But he couldn’t just leave and not say hello to his boyfriend. He would feel compelled to mention it later, so it would be infinitely more awkward to walk away. And so, carefully, he stepped out from behind the shelves.

“Cecil?” he said softly.

Cecil yelped, jumped, and scrambled to his feet, clutching the book behind his back. As he registered that it was Carlos, he yelped again. Carlos instantly felt terrible. 

_ “Carlos?” _ Cecil gasped, blushing furiously.

Carlos froze, heart pounding. Oh,  _ statistical errors, _ he’d scared him!

“Cecil!” he squeaked, then cleared his throat, so that he sounded less like he had just choked on a balloon animal. He forced himself to smile. “Cecil! What--ah, what brings you here?!”

He tried to lean onto one of the shelves attached to the wall. His elbow missed the first time, but he awkwardly re-positioned himself, trying to look casual.

“Um...well, uh,” Cecil stammered, “I um...I wanted to…” he glanced around desperately, and then looked back to Carlos, leaning in conspiratorially. “Well, to be honest...I came here because I wanted to, um...to  _ learn some new things,” _ he confessed, in a tone that suggested that this was a dirty secret. He somehow flushed even harder, and bit his lip, looking unsure of himself. He clutched the book he was holding in front of him for comfort.  _ Architecture 101, _ the title read. _ For Absolute Fools, Like You, You Painfully Ignorant Person. I Bet You Couldn’t Even Make A Gingerbread House. Let Me Help You. _

_ Skewed data!! _ Cecil had beat him to it!

“I hate to resort to using a  _ book,” _ Cecil lamented, looking a little like he was going to cry, “b-but in this case, I--uh--I didn’t know where else to go.”

From what Carlos could tell, among the older generations in Night Vale, openly enjoying books was about as scandalous as having an unusual, slightly risque fetish. Cecil had uttered the words “book-loving pervert” on his show enough times, with a mocking enough tone, that Carlos had assumed he looked down upon said perverts.

And maybe he did. But looking at Cecil now, Carlos felt like he was seeing him for the first time, in a new way. Cecil condemned book reading by night, but by day, he haunted this bookstore? That seemed like a contradiction, but god, how many people like Cecil had Carlos met, who condemned things a little  _ too _ strongly among others, but privately held a secret candle for them?

He couldn’t help but wonder if this was also a sex thing for Cecil, just like architecture.  _ Science, _ what a fascinating set of paraphilias this man had! But, he felt so bad for him in this moment that he pushed the thought away.

“Are you okay?” Carlos replied, looking at him in concern.

“I don’t know!” Cecil blurted. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to see me here, much less you. I hate books! I mean it! I don’t like them at all!!”

The lie was so obvious that he immediately grimaced. Carlos gave him a soft look. “You are  _ so _ cute,” he said, because it was all he could think to say. He wondered for a moment if that would upset Cecil, but then, Cecil looked at him sheepishly.

“...What?” Cecil said, in a high voice.

“You can like books. I won’t judge you for that,” Carlos said gently, with a flirtatious smile that tried to say,  _ I’m open to this. _

Cecil still looked anxious. He visibly tried to answer, but struggled. He noticed that Carlos was looking at the title of his book, and quickly moved to cover it, taking a deep, shaky breath to steady himself.

“Um, why are  _ you  _ here?” he finally managed.

“The same reason,” Carlos admitted, with a little shrug. His heart still beat at an uncomfortable pace. “I, um, don’t come to bookstores often, because reading books is very challenging for me, but sometimes, research requires it,” he offered, apologetically. But, why was he apologizing?  _ Carlos  _ didn’t actually believe that books were actually perverse, did he?

Cecil was the one who had come here first, to read up on his paraphilia. It seemed he was combining secret interests.

How fascinating. How  _ sexy, _ if Carlos thought about it, and oh, he certainly did...

“Not to pry, but since we’re both here,” Carlos said, tilting his head, and pointing to Cecil’s book, “I hear that’s a pretty good read.”

“Oh!” Cecil’s lips twitched into a smile, and his hands shook as he looked down at it. His voice went a little higher. “Really? That’s good to know! Um, where did you hear that from?”

“Oh, I just heard about it online. It had lots of four- and five-star reviews, which seems  _ pretty great, _ as far as architecture books go.”

“Oh, only four stars?” Cecil frowned at the cover. “Were there any complaints?”

“Hmm...mainly just that it’s super condescending at times. Like, when you read the title, and then when you read each of the chapters, and then when you finish it, and it just sits there on your shelf, arrogantly. At least, that’s what one review said,” Carlos said. “That person also said something like, ‘I thought I was reading a book, but actually, the book was reading me to filth.’ And then they were like, ‘Who is this author? Why is he so angry about ninety-degree angles? I feel personally attacked. It’s mean. Just so mean.’ But then they gave it five stars, and said they wished they could give it six.” 

He shrugged again, hoping it would make him look one step down from flippant, but one above ignorant. 

“So what I got out of that was maybe be careful, but it will totally teach you the basics, and then some. What do you think of it, so far?”

“That sounds...pretty accurate, from the, uh,  _ very _ little I’ve skimmed,” Cecil said. “Potentially emotionally destructive, but like, you know, whatever. Totally worth it. Maybe it’s even, you know, better that way.” Cecil shrugged nonchalantly, looking extremely frazzled. “Spicy.”

So...was he into shaming people for book-reading, but also into reading books, and  _ also _ into books shaming  _ him? _ Was Carlos getting this right? That seemed a little complicated, but you know what? It had potential, and Carlos found it terribly endearing. He could work with this.

...Maybe.

He hoped.

He would try, at least! But in the meantime, he hoped this book wouldn’t  _ really _ hurt Cecil’s feelings.

“Yeah. Still, be careful,” Carlos said. “Oh, but, I’m not saying that you  _ need  _ the basics, necessarily!” he clarified. “I’m sure you know a decent amount about the subject, already.”   
  


“Oh, uh, yeah, totally!” Cecil said, nodding enthusiastically. He swallowed. “Definitely. I know  _ plenty.” _

“Yeah,” Carlos giggled, despite himself, as he remembered two nights ago. “I remember our last...um... _ conversation _ about it.” He stopped leaning against the bookshelf, and crossed his arms, hugging himself, and looking down at the floor, still smiling. God, he really hoped he could learn enough to  _ keep  _ having fun with him, in this way, but if  _ Cecil  _ was going to buy that book, then he would have to look into other options...

He shook himself. He was still flustered that Cecil had been here, of all places, and of all times, but he had a thought. If he could keep the topic on Cecil, and off of himself, he could surreptitiously learn where Cecil was really at with all of this. And so, he determined to do just that. He took a few steps closer.

“So, um,  _ Cecil,” _ he asked in a hushed tone, “I have a question, if you’re comfortable answering…?”

“Yeah, sure!” Cecil said quickly.

“Okay! Well, my question is, how long have you liked architecture?”

This was a dangerous question. Cecil could easily reverse it onto him, and Carlos was not sure he could lie, or if he  _ wanted  _ to. He supposed he  _ could _ just confess he was here because he was a bit lost, but he didn’t want to disappoint…

“Hmm...well,” Cecil said, looking a bit sheepish, “You know, who...who can say when I began to admire the, what was your phrase...the elegant mathematics of building designs?”

“Oh, yes! I did say that, didn’t I,” Carlos breathed, amazed that he had remembered the phrase exactly, and stunned by the beauty of it in his gorgeous voice. He could listen to that voice forever, he thought, and so he hung onto every one of Cecil’s words, now.

“You did! It was  _ beautiful,” _ Cecil sighed. But then, he stood up a bit straighter. “I suppose, from a certain point of view, I’ve always enjoyed that on some level. It’s hard to pinpoint an exact moment that my admiration began, per se, but...I mean, I’ve always...” he bit his lip. “I’ve always been a fan of nice doors, and strong, earthquake-proof walls...and to be honest,” he said, “a good awning?  _ Love  _ that.”

The poor man was visibly darker, from all his blushing. It was adorable, and Carlos felt thrilled that he had brought forth such a reaction in him. He wouldn’t tease him  _ too  _ much, but...well, this  _ was _ scientifically valuable information...

“An  _ awning…” _ Carlos mused. “Fascinating. I always thought of those as mostly decoration, since they’re cloth, but I guess they do serve a purpose, and should be incorporated into building design, just like the harder materials.”

Cecil’s breath hitched, at the word  _ harder. _ He swallowed, again, looking shy, but pleased. “Um, yeah! I mean, I don’t know if they really count, but they seem so related, you know?”

Carlos was  _ so _ out of his depth, and he knew it. But he added, “I’ve never appreciated them that way before. Thank you for that insight, Cecil.” He smiled, genuinely happy that Cecil felt comfortable enough to share his feelings, even if he was still uncertain of himself.

“Oh, yeah, of course!” Cecil nodded. “They’re, like, super cool, you know? Both literally and figuratively.”

“Yeah,” Carlos said. He adopted a particularly sensual tone. “Or in this case, just  _ super  _ hot.”

Cecil visibly shuddered a little. They both laughed, a little embarrassed.

In the distance, in an undisclosed location, the Secret Police officer newly assigned to monitor Carlos today violently choked on a sip of their dark roast coffee.

“What about you? Cecil asked. “What are your favorite...architectural things? I got the feeling the other night that you might be an arch kind of guy. Am I wrong?”

“I mean,” Carlos offered, “I think some of them are really beautiful. Like the one on the way into your apartment complex.”

He jumped at the chance to bring that up, because the way Cecil had looked at him in that moment had been absolutely enthralling. And it looked like that was the right decision, because Cecil’s face lit up.

“Yeah, I remember you thought so!” Cecil exclaimed. “And you looked even more beautiful, next to it.”

Carlos giggled, and then bit his lip. “That’s so sweet,” he said. “But it was a  _ really _ pretty arch, so I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, please,” Cecil insisted. “That arch has  _ nothing _ on you.”

It was Carlos’ turn to blush.

“I know I said this before,” Cecil continued, closing the distance between them a bit more, “but I had  _ so _ much fun with you, two nights ago. I’m really looking forward to our date tonight.”

Carlos nodded, biting back a grin. “Me too. I’m already hungry for dinner!” He stopped, and considered this. “Then again, I think I forgot breakfast, so that’s probably a factor.”

“Oh no!”

“I forget breakfast all the time,” Carlos lamented. Then, he smiled at him. “It was really nice to have someone remind me, yesterday morning.”

“It was nice to have someone over who can cook!” Cecil exclaimed. “I know my way around a kitchen like a bat knows its way around the Great Barrier Reef.”

Carlos squinted. “I don’t think a bat could survive down there,” he said skeptically.

Cecil nodded gravely. “Exactly my point.”

They looked at each other, trying not to smile, and then promptly dissolved into laughter.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are  _ you _ trying to learn on this fine morning, in an erotic bookstore?” Cecil asked, when he had recovered.

Was this the moment of truth? Carlos didn’t know how long he could conceal his ignorance, especially when Cecil was holding the book he was looking for...

Oh, well.

_ “Well,” _ Carlos began, “it’s kind of funny, but I was actually looking for that exact book.” He pointed to Cecil’s hands.

Cecil almost jumped, as if he had just remembered he was holding it. “Oh! Wait, seriously?” he laughed. “What a weird coincidence!”

“I know!” Carlos exclaimed. “But, I guess it  _ is _ a very specific topic.”   
  


“Yeah! There’s not much that’s been written about it, sadly.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s really a shame. But, hey, that’s what science is for: delving into topics that haven’t been explored yet!”

Cecil tilted his head, and now, he leaned against the shelves, hugging the book tighter. “You know, I didn’t think to ask you this before, but  _ you’re _ a scientist. Have  _ you _ ever done research on this, or written any scientific papers, or anything?”

Carlos facade of architecturally erotic knowledge was unraveling like a lab coat with a loose thread. There was nothing to do but embrace it.

“Unfortunately, no,” he admitted. “I’m actually pretty new to this idea, still. I only discovered it recently.”

“Oh, really?” Cecil said, looking surprised. “I never would have guessed! You seemed so experienced! I assumed your interest in it went back a ways.”

Carlos was delighted to hear that, and clasped his hands together.

“Well, thank you, Cecil!” he said, grinning shyly. “That’s always nice to hear!”

Cecil bit his lip, and nodded vigorously, smiling back. “It was great,” he said. “Wow, that is so surprising to me! So, when  _ did _ you become interested in architecture?”

Carlos knew he had to come clean. And so, he did.

“Well...I have always admired it, from a purely scientific standpoint, because I admire all science,” Carlos said. “But to be honest with you, I had never once thought about it in a sexual context before two nights ago.”

Cecil’s eyes went wide, and his mouth opened a little in blank shock. He stood up straighter, watching him intently.

“I mean, I  _ love _ math, and shapes, and design. And I had  _ such _ a good time with you, and I am  _ super _ open to learning more about this topic,” Carlos continued, “but I’ve never met someone who’s attracted to architecture before, so…” the corner of his lip turned up, and he looked up at Cecil shyly. “You might have to guide me through how this works.”

For the first time since Carlos had met Cecil, Cecil appeared to be speechless. It was almost unnerving, watching him process what he’d said, without commentary. Carlos almost began to worry that he had said something wrong, but then finally, Cecil spoke.

“Um, I’m... _ confused,” _ Cecil managed.  _ “You’re _ the one who’s into architecture.”

Carlos blinked, then frowned a little in mutual confusion.

“Um...no,” Carlos said. “I mean, yes, but--like I said, that night was  _ amazing, _ and I  _ really _ want to learn more about what makes you tick, but ultimately, I was kind of just going along with _ you.” _

Cecil pointed to himself helplessly. “But  _ I _ was going along with  _ you,” _ he echoed, pointing toward Carlos.

_ “Me?!” _ Carlos asked, bewildered.

“Yeah! You’re the one who brought it up,” Cecil exclaimed. “You complimented my archway, and then a bunch of things indoors, and then talked about door frames, and form and function. You seemed really into it, so I just went with it, because it was ridiculously hot to hear you talk about things like beauty and elegance and math.”

It was Carlos’ turn to become speechless for a moment, and he felt himself flush.

“And I mean,” Cecil continued, seemingly just as flustered, “Even back months ago, you complimented my roof’s shingles!”

The memory instantly returned to Carlos, and he snapped his fingers.

“...Oh, yeah! On top of the Earth Sciences building, when I was showing you that dark column you could only see from that one specific angle!”

“Yeah!”

“...You remember that?” Carlos winced awkwardly.

“Of  _ course _ I do!” Cecil exclaimed happily. “It was the first compliment you ever gave me!”

“...Was it really?”

Carlos was embarrassed at that memory. Instantly after saying that, he had gotten the most overwhelming feeling that it was an awkward thing to have said, and he had regretted it for a long while after, and tried to put it out of his mind. But looking at Cecil now, he realized that his boyfriend not only had forgiven him for his social ineptitude, but remembered it fondly.

Oh, that was so sweet of him. Carlos was still mortified about it, but his stomach flipped in the nicest way.

“Yes, it was!” Cecil sighed dreamily. But then, he straightened his posture again, and went on. “But, yeah! Like I said,  _ you’re _ the one who keeps bringing up architecture!”

Carlos squeezed his eyes shut in concentration and hugged himself. He tightened his hands into fists, until his nails pressed sharply into his palms. He tried to hold back his embarrassment, but an uncomfortable sound escaped him nonetheless. After a long moment, he let out his breath and released the tension in his body, looking back up into Cecil’s slightly concerned expression.

“Cecil,” he said, “I didn’t say those things last night because I’m attracted to architecture. I said them because I didn’t know what else to say!”

Cecil gazed at him in wonder.

“I wanted to flirt with you,” Carlos confessed. “But I figured I should start small, so I started with observation. That’s the first step in the scientific method, after all. And I didn’t want to jump right to telling you how handsome you looked, because it seemed kind of forward, so I just went with things in the immediate environment.” 

He hugged himself again, with a strong feeling that he had just inadvertently admitted to being the most socially awkward person alive.

“But then, I saw how flustered you were getting, and I realized that it was working super well. I started to suspect that you might have a thing for architecture, but I wasn’t sure. And then, you asked me about your door frame, and I realized I had enough data for a strong hypothesis,” Carlos said. “Which is that you had a thing for building design. And so after that, I decided to lay it on as thick as possible, because your reactions were so cute that I couldn’t resist.”

Cecil shook his head, amazed. “I asked you about the door frame to test  _ you,” _ he countered. “I could tell you were flirting with me, but there was definitely a theme, you know? So I figured, hey, whatever works! And then you talked about the elegant design of me, and I was like, ‘oh, okay, he really knows what he’s talking about.’”

“That’s what I thought about you!” Carlos replied. “And then, you asked me to describe you in architectural terms!”

Cecil started. “Oh. I did, didn’t I?”

_ “Yes! _ Oh, no, I thought you liked it!”   
  


“I did!” Cecil insisted.

“But you’re  _ not _ attracted to architecture?”

“I mean, after that night, I don’t know anymore,” Cecil said, laughing sheepishly. “But the metaphor isn’t what matters. I think the part I liked was the part where you were there, and you kept saying nice things to me. You have the most beautiful way with words.”

If Carlos didn’t have butterflies before, he had a flue of them now.

“I do?” he breathed.

“Yes!” Cecil pressed. “And you have such a handsome, oaky voice.”

This was too much. Carlos covered his mouth with one hand, and looked down, unable to maintain eye contact.

“You’re the one with the handsome voice,” he said. “And your words were definitely better.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Elegant Mathematics,” Cecil teased.

Carlos laughed.

Cecil squinted. “So, you  _ really _ don’t have an architecture kink?”

“Nope,” Carlos said, with a decisive shake of his head. “I just really like you.”

Cecil gasped a little, hand over his heart, then grinned. “Oh! I really like you too!” he replied eagerly.

Carlos lowered his arms, and stepped a little closer, hoping that Cecil might close the rest of the distance between them. Cecil obliged, and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Carlos nodded. He tasted bitter black coffee on Cecil’s lips, sweetened by the softness of them, and delight danced in his stomach.

They pulled apart, but then, Cecil’s expression changed from bliss to horror.

“Wait,” he half-whispered. “If you don’t have an architecture kink, and  _ I _ don’t have an architecture kink, then that means I just  _ went into a bookstore, _ and  _ read part of a book, for nothing.” _

He looked mortified. Carlos felt for him, but also realized what he’d just said.

“Oh! You did that for  _ me?” _ Carlos asked.

“Well, yeah!” Cecil said, slumping down into the beanbag chair helplessly. “I’m not some shambling  _ book-reader,  _ prowling through shelves at 10am on a Thursday for  _ fun! _ I have a  _ reputation _ to consider!” He raised his hand into the sky in a desperate motion that communicated,  _ why, cruel fate? _

“Oh...I’m really sorry, Cecil,” Carlos said sympathetically. “I really didn’t mean to put you in this situation.”

Cecil groaned in misery and flopped onto his side, and covered his flushed face in shame, still holding his book. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who let myself be led astray! Just, please don’t tell anyone?”

Carlos squatted down next to him, then sat back against the shelves. “I won’t,” he promised. “But even if you were, um, a ‘shambling book-reader,’ I would still like you just as much.”

Cecil peeked through his fingers. “You would?”

“Absolutely!” Carlos insisted. “Honestly, I saw you sitting here a minute before I said hi, and I thought you looked so cozy. It looked like you were having fun, and I loved that. I would have wanted to curl up next to you, if I hadn’t been so surprised.”

Cecil pushed himself up, and stared at him intently.  _ “Carlos!” _ he exclaimed. “That’s…” he tried not to look excited, but failed. “I had no idea you were so cavalier about the dangers of books!”

“I mean,” Carlos said, “I’m not  _ that _ cavalier. Like I’ve said, reading is hard for me, since I’m dyslexic. But I have no moral issue with books.”

Cecil gasped. “None at all?”

“Nope,” Carlos said.

“So…” Cecil swallowed, clutching the book again. “You saw me reading, and not hating it...and you really don’t think I’m some kind of weird pervert?”

Carlos blinked, then laughed. “Cecil, two minutes ago I thought you had an obscure architecture fetish that no one has ever heard of, and I was ready to dive in. You reading a book doesn’t even  _ faze _ me.”

Carlos reached over and took the book from Cecil’s hands. Cecil’s eyes widened. Carlos sat back, and Cecil gasped again as Carlos opened it.

“Oh, be careful--!” Cecil yelped.

Carlos looked up at him, and fanned himself with it. “What’s the matter?” he asked, a little too innocently. “Never seen a man handle a book, before?”

Cecil covered his mouth, looking both scandalized and enamored as Carlos stroked the pages. Carlos lifted the book to his nose, and sniffed it.

“Ooh, new book smell!” Carlos said brightly.

Cecil let out a strangled noise, and covered his face again. “That’s just  _ sick,” _ he accused, but Carlos could tell he was enjoying this very much.

“Hmm,” Carlos mused, stroking his chin. “You know, Cecil? If  _ you _ don’t want this book, I might have to get it myself.”

_ “You what?!” _ Cecil cried.

“Yeah! I mean, what are the odds of us seeking out the same book, on the same day, in the same store? And besides,” he teased, looking at Cecil over the top of it, “anything that makes your face do what it’s doing right now is worth repeating.”

“Oh my god,” Cecil mumbled into his hands.

“Also,” Carlos continued, “Those reviews made me very curious, and on top of that, I really want to know what you were reading, that made your feet twitch that way.”

Cecil sat up, with fire in his eyes. “That author really has some  _ nerve!” _ he said loudly. “You wouldn’t  _ believe _ how presumptuous he is!”

“Maybe you can read it to me sometime,” Carlos said, as casually as he could. “You know, so the dyslexia doesn’t ruin the fun.”

Cecil gasped again, sputtered, and for the second time, he went speechless for a moment. He buried his face in his hands again, and managed, “We can talk about it.”

Carlos’s heart filled with affection. “You absolutely do not ever have to read to me. I just said that because I like getting you flustered.”

“Well, it’s working,” Cecil mumbled into his palms.

“Good,” Carlos laughed. He got up, and lent Cecil a hand. Cecil accepted, and Carlos pulled him up.

After some more book-related flirting, accompanied by Cecil’s mock-protests, they ultimately agreed that Carlos really would buy the book. Cecil blushed the entire time, and especially as they approached the front counter. 

Lillith, looking relieved, checked them out, as they explained what had happened. She seemed tickled by their story, and invited them to come back, sending them off with a pack of coupons for next time. They promised they would return soon, and left, laughing and nudging each other.

They went their separate ways, and met up again later at Cecil’s house, where Carlos cooked them both dinner. It was a wonderful date, and when Carlos asked if he could stay the night again, Cecil answered with an enthusiastic yes.

As they fell into bed together, Carlos mustered up his most sultry voice, and said, “You know what I’m thinking, Cecil?”

“What?” Cecil breathed.

“Your roof really does have some damn good shingles,” Carlos whispered, and as he kissed him, they both burst into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes that! :)
> 
> The idea of Cecil and Carlos both coming to the same wild misunderstanding, and just accepting it at face value, was way too fun to resist. Thank you for indulging me by reading to the end! As always, I appreciate feedback, so if you enjoyed this story, please feel free to comment below, even if you're just pressing f to pay respects to Cecil's anti-book reputation, which is now soiled by him being caught in a bookstore at 10am on a Thursday.
> 
> To my Every Version Of You readers: I'll be posting a new chapter there by the beginning of October. 
> 
> To those who haven't read my Kevcilos fic EVOY: I welcome you to check out that much longer trainwreck, too! It's significantly more dark and dramatic, and it involves colliding mirrored timelines, repressed polyamory, slow-burn romances, angst, fluff, a few too many classic fic tropes, Sheriff Sam and Strex-survivor backstories, a city-wide disaster, engagement ring mishaps, extremely on-the-nose foreshadowing, and more. It also features two iterations each of Cecil, Carlos, and Kevin, including a significantly less frightening Kevin who never became a Strex puppet, and a significantly more frightening Cecil who did.
> 
> We have fun.
> 
> Either way, see you around, and I wish you the best in your endeavors!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Architecture 101 For Absolute Fools, Like You, You Painfully Ignorant Person. I Bet You Couldn’t Even Make A Gingerbread House. Let Me Help You.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21749683) by [gracicah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracicah/pseuds/gracicah)


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